Limiting Beliefs 101: Eliminate your hang-ups in 5 minutes

A proven method used by top coaches and change workers.

During a heated debate, it struck me how we were both lost in our own ideas.

My wife knew exactly how to raise our daughter—and I knew, too. But our ideas were different.

Connirae Andreas, an author, psychologist, and counselor who massively influenced NLP said, "None of us are immune from getting lost in our concepts."

Here's how we all create unhelpful and limiting beliefs (and how to get unstuck).

Hey Growth Seeker!

This week I want to talk about how to use AI to challenge and eliminate limiting and restricting beliefs using the Meta Model from NLP.

We’ll go over three sections before you get the prompt to make it all faster and more enjoyable:

• Common Mistakes with Limiting Beliefs

• Understanding the Meta Model

• How to Use the Meta Model

Limiting beliefs often go unnoticed, creeping into our minds like a shadowy figure in a quiet alley. But once you understand how to effectively notice and challenge these beliefs, you can unlock a more positive mindset, reduced stress, and improved overall well-being.

I’ve got your back!

Common Mistakes with Limiting Beliefs

In order to effectively challenge limiting beliefs, you first need to make sure you don’t make a few of the most common mistakes:

• Ignoring Generalizations: People often accept broad statements without questioning them, which can limit their thinking and create rigid beliefs.

• Overlooking Deletions: Important information is often left out, leading to vague or incomplete beliefs.

• Accepting Distortions: Misinterpreting or twisting information can cause us to see things in an inaccurate or unhelpful way.

The reason people tend to make these mistakes is because they are not aware of the underlying structures of their thoughts. When was the last time you stopped and asked “Is that really the case?” For most of us, it’s not a regular habit.

As a result, many people keep themselves stuck with limiting beliefs that are rarely examined or challenged.

So, here’s how to fix it:

Understanding the Meta Model

By dissecting limiting beliefs, you can break apart their structure and notice their flaws.

The very first step to eliminating limiting beliefs is to understand the Meta Model. The Meta Model helps identify and challenge limiting beliefs by focusing on three key concepts: generalization, deletion, and distortion.

• Generalizations occur when we take a single or few instances and apply them broadly, assuming they are true in all situations. This can limit our thinking and create rigid beliefs.

• Deletion happens when we leave out important information, making our statements vague or incomplete. This can lead to misunderstandings and overly simplistic views.

• Distortion is when we alter reality by misinterpreting or twisting information. This can cause us to see things in a way that isn't accurate or helpful.

We need to identify and challenge these patterns to gain a more accurate understanding of our beliefs.

But remember this: generalizations, deletions, and distortions serve a positive purpose too! They simplify our complex world and help us make sense of vast amounts of information quickly.

• Generalizations allow us to learn from past experiences and apply that knowledge to new situations.

• Deletion helps us focus on what’s important by filtering out unnecessary details.

• Distortion can fuel creativity and innovation by enabling us to see things from different perspectives.

By balancing these processes with critical thinking, we can harness their benefits while minimizing their drawbacks. This leads to a more nuanced understanding of ourselves and the world around us, fostering personal growth and well-being.

To get a bit more granular, here’s an example of a helpful and unhelpful use of each:

Generalization:

• Benefit: Learning that touching a hot stove can burn you helps you avoid getting burned in the future.

• Unhelpful Use: Assuming that all dogs are dangerous because you were once bitten by a dog.

Deletion:

• Benefit: Focusing on the main points in a meeting helps you stay on track and manage your time effectively.

• Unhelpful Use: Ignoring important details when making a decision can lead to misunderstandings and mistakes.

Distortion:

• Benefit: Imagining new uses for everyday objects can lead to creative solutions and innovations.

• Unhelpful Use: Believing that everyone is always judging you can cause unnecessary anxiety and self-doubt.

Mini Quest: Start by identifying a belief you have that you feel is holding you back. Write it down. Write 10 sentences about the belief and try to spot any generalizations, deletions, or distortions in that belief. This simple habit can significantly shift your mindset over time.

How to Use the Meta Model

The next step is to use the Meta Model to challenge and reshape your beliefs.

Generalizations can be challenged by identifying broad statements or absolutes in your belief. Ask yourself if you are making generalizations, such as assuming something is always or never true. Find exceptions to these generalizations to see that your belief might not apply in all situations.

Ever said or thought:

• "All politicians are corrupt."

• "You can never trust a salesperson."

• "Teenagers are always irresponsible."

• "Men are terrible at expressing their feelings."

• "Everyone in that neighborhood is unfriendly."

• "All rich people are greedy."

• "She always gets what she wants."

• "Every time I try something new, I fail."

• "Tech companies never care about their customers."

• "People from that country are all the same."

Challenge the generalizations by asking questions like, “Always?” “Everyone?” “Every time?” “Was there ever a time that it wasn’t true?”

Deletion can be addressed by looking for any missing information in your beliefs. If your belief is vague or lacks details, specify what exactly you mean. Clarify comparisons you might be making to understand what or whom you are comparing yourself to.

• "I'm just not good enough."

• "She always knows what to do."

• "They don't care about me."

• "This project is a failure."

• "He's successful."

• "I'm too busy."

• "It's not worth it."

• "They always win."

• "She's talented."

• "It's impossible."

Challenge the deletions by asking questions like, “How do you know that’s true?” or “Compared to whom / what?” or “Who / What specifically is?” (ex: “Who specifically is they?” or “How do you know the project is a failure?”)

Distortion can be corrected by recognizing if you are assuming what others think or feel without evidence. Question these assumptions and consider alternative explanations for your experiences.

• "If I don't get this job, my career is over."

• "Everyone at the party thought I was boring."

• "He didn't text back right away, so he must be mad at me."

• "I failed that test; I'm never going to succeed in school."

• "She didn’t smile at me; she must not like me."

• "If I make one mistake, everyone will think I’m incompetent."

• "I'm not perfect, so I'm worthless."

• "My friend didn’t invite me out; they must not want to be friends anymore."

• "I had a bad day; nothing ever goes right for me."

• "They didn't agree with my idea, so they must think I'm stupid."

To challenge distortions you can ask “What makes you think that?” or “What other explanations could there be?” or “What evidence do you have?”

By understanding and using the Meta Model, you can challenge and reshape limiting beliefs, leading to improved mental and emotional well-being.

Is your brain a bit fried?

ChatGPT Prompts to Break Limiting Beliefs

It can be hard to check yourself.

Sometimes your brain has done such a good job creating and supporting the beliefs that you can’t even find a weak spot.

So use this ChatGPT prompt and get clarity as well as a positive reframe so you can get out of your own way.

Let me introduce Marvin Mindchecker.